Naath ~ Moulana Naeem Motala Saheb DB

Illahi Gunehgaar Bandah Hu Me

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Oh Allah! I am filled with sins. Oh Allah! I’m a wicked person. I’m a cruel person. I’m an evil person. I’ve got no piety in me. There’s nothing right about me …

And we all have this feeling. Again and again. How often a person says that ‘I need to make Islaah of myself’. I’m trying. I just want to change my life. I want to come out of this filthy life of mines. Day and night I’m sinning. Committing zinaa, casting lustful glances. My tongue, I’m only speaking lies, I’m cheating, I’m deceiving the people. I can feel I’m trapped in world of Ghufflat (Heedlessness) and filth and evil. I’m looking for some escape, some exit from here …

I’ve got no strength to refrain from sins. I’m so weak. And I don’t even have the strength, I don’t even have the courage, to do righteous deeds. This is my condition.

Oh Allah! If it is Your intention Ya Allah! Ya Allah if it is Your will. Ya Allah! You are Kareem! The One who gives so much and is so Generous and the recipients of those bounties don’t even deserve those things. You and I get so much from Allah. We don’t deserve getting those Ni’mats (bounties) from Allah. Allah still gives. “We don’t deserve this”. Allah still gives us these favors. Oh Allah! If it is Your Iraada (intention), then even with the bat of an eyelid, one wink of our eyes, Oh Allah! You can forgive us. This Bandah (servant), La’eem (wicked), wicked, cruel, evil, filthy …

Ya Allah! From Your unseen sources, Ya Allah! Ghayb (unseen). Ya Allah! You create the means for this sinful servant of Yours. Ya Allah! To stay away and refrain from sin. I’m tempted all the time. When I go to my office and there are those pretty faces around me, as much as I am trying, I am getting caught in those pretty faces again and again …

Oh Allah! If it is Your help, Your assistance with me. If Your Nusrat (assistance) is with me, then what fear do I then have of nafs and shaytaan. When Allah is with us, then we’ve got that strength. That nafs and shaytaan which is trying desperately to pin us down, subdue us. And in this wrestling match with nafs all the time. When Allah’s help comes then we are victorious. There is nothing to fear then …

Oh Allah! I am Your Bandah (servant). Only by name. I’ve got a muslim name. A believers name. I am Abdullah, Abdur-Rahmaan. Servant of Allah. Servant of Rahmaan. Ya Allah! Just name only. Ya Allah! Out of Your Karam, Your help, Your favour, Your kindness, make me of some benefit, make me useful in life …

Oh Allah! This fickle-mindedness. A person is not constant. Sometimes he is very hot-headed, shouting at everybody. And sometime you see him opposite. Or he loses himself very easily with his family, but in front of his friends he’s like a sheep. Ya Allah! With your help and assistance, you give me this resoluteness Ya Allah! To change this type of Mizaaj (temperament) of mines …