Training and Nurturing the Nafs like a Child

bismillahh

  وَأَمَّا مَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِۦ وَنَهَى ٱلنَّفْسَ عَنِ ٱلْهَوَىٰ ~ فَإِنَّ ٱلْجَنَّةَ هِىَ ٱلْمَأْوَىٰ

But as for he who feared the standing before his Lord and prevented the soul from evil desires, ~ Then indeed, Paradise will be [his] abode ~ Surah An- Naazi’aat 79: 40-41

A Simple Analogy of the Gradual Tarbiyah (Nurturing) of the Nafs, like that of a Growing Child

The “Nafs” is like a child.

When the child is a little baby, we give it extra care and protection. We have a special baby seat that we attach to the backseat of the car. The father, whilst driving his car, has carefully  fastened the toddler with the seatbelt, to its special baby seat. The father keeps on looking back and forth to see if the baby is fine and ok … Similarly, we have to keep a ‘safety belt’ on our Nafs and continuously keep on checking on it (like a child). The nafs is now restricted. It is also continuously monitored.

This baby then grows and soon outgrows the baby seat and doesn’t fit in it anymore. The little child now sits in the backseat of the car, but every now and then wants to jump over, or wishes to stick its head out of the window … until the father warns it to sit back quietly. Then, at times the father may straps up the child with the seatbelt of the back seats, when it begins to get out of control. The child now remains fastened to the backseat … Similarly the Nafs has to be fastened all the time, lest it goes out of control.

When the child misbehaves then you reprimand it. Similarly, the Nafs too needs some rebuking and reprimanding, from time to time.

And then, the child grows a bit older, but still gets out of hand at times, so you enable the ‘child lock’ on the car door and windows … so that the child does not jump around or open the door or window on its own. All this,  for its safety … Similarly, one has to be constantly on guard that one’s Nafs does not ‘jump out’ of place. And one has to try to overpower all its tricks. The nafs has to be in complete control.

Like the child, the Nafs too, is being nurtured all the time …

The growing child now wants to sit in the front seat, next to the father. The father allows it but commands the child to fasten its seatbelt. Similarly, the Nafs, like the child, gets continuous and constant training.

Every child is very precious to its parent … Will any parent throw his child out of the car if it misbehaves? No! Never! … We love our child and take care of it… We nurture this growing child to the best of our ability… Our gaze is always on the child … precious … We continously monitor the child.

After a while the child gets its driving licence and wants to sit in the drivers seat…..and drive the car. The father agrees but still reminds the grown up child to again put its seatbelt on before driving … and to drive carefully. … The seatbelt remains fastened… Similarly, the Nafs, over a period of time is being nurtured and gains spiritual strength and nourishment through making Zikr, Tilaawat of Quraan, Salaah, Taubah and Istighfaar, Ibaadat etc. It is protected from any Haraam nourishment … We don’t let it see Haraam … We don’t let it eat Haraam … We don’t let it drink Haraam …We are very cautious … We restrain it from all evil temptations.

The Nafs is like our child .. and requires its gradual nurturing …

DOWNLOAD CLIP HERE ~ 5 MINS

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Some Duas for combating the Evil Temptations of the Nafs:

اَللّٰهُمَّ اَلْهِمْنِىْ رُشْدِىْ وَاَعِذْنِىْ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِىْ

Allahumma alhimni rushdi wa-a’idhni min sharri nafsi
Oh Allah, inspire me with guidance and protect me from the evil of myself

اللهم ات نفسي تقواها وزكها انت خير من زكاها انت وليها ومولاها

Allahumma Aati Nafsi Taqwaahaa Wa-Zakkihaa, Anta Khayru Man Zakkaahaa, Anta Waliyyuhaa Wa-Mawlaahaa
“O Allah grant my soul its piety and purify it, You are the best to purify it, You are its Guardian and Master” ~ Sahih Muslim 

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RELATED LINKS 

Muhaasabah of the Nafs ~ Assessing or taking an Account of One’s Soul

Nurturing the Nafs

The Struggle Against the Nafs! ~ Moulana Naeem Motala Saheb DB

Turning to Allah ~ In Times of Difficulty and Prosperity

bismillahh

Allah Subhaanahu Wa Ta’ala says :

وَإِذَا أَنْعَمْنَا عَلَى الْإِنسَانِ أَعْرَضَ وَنَأَىٰ بِجَانِبِهِ وَإِذَا مَسَّهُ الشَّرُّ فَذُو دُعَاءٍ عَرِيضٍ

And when We bestow favor upon man, he turns away and distances himself; but when evil touches him, then he is full of extensive supplication ~ Surah Fussilat 41:51

Allah Subhaanahu Wa Ta’ala explains that  when He bestows favours upon man, he turns ‘away from ALLAH and not towards HIM’ …

ie : When he is in comfort and has everything going well for him he does not remember Allah, but the moment some calamity befalls him, then he resorts to long supplications.

To make long Duas is not something which is disliked by Shariah … Allah Ta’ala wants a person to make long Duas …  Allah enjoys you asking and begging from Him …Infact, If we don’t ask Allah, then Allah will become angry with us.

BUT, it is only when in adversity, does man turn to Allah. That is not the quality of true believer. We should be turning towards Allah and praising Allah at all times. The Sahaba RA would praise Allah in times of adversity and times of prosperity as well.

If you remember Allah in times of comfort and plentiful, Allah will remember you, when you are in difficulty.

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Adopting Trust and Reliance (Tawakkul) on Allah Alone

 

فَمَا أُوتِيتُم مِّن شَيْءٍ فَمَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَمَا عِندَ اللَّهِ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ

So whatever thing you have been given – it is but [for] enjoyment of the worldly life. But what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who have believed and upon their Lord rely  ~ Surah Ash Shuraa 42:36

Tawakkul simply means, to make use of all the permissible means that Allah has given us and then, to have firm faith and reliance ONLY upon Allah.

We are required to inculcate in ourselves the fact that  “means” cannot produce an effect on their own. It is only Allah, that causes effect in those means.

A simple example : The fire in which Sayiddina Ebrahim AS was thrown into, should have burned him … but Allah instructed that fire not to burn him. Fire is normally a means of burning something, but Allah did not cause the fire to burn him….
Similarly, the knife with which Sayyidina Ismail AS was being slaughtered with …  Allah commanded that knife not to cut. It could not produce the effect of “cutting”.

Further … Tawakul does not mean that one should just sit back and become lazy and expect things to just happen for him. One must make an effort himself, and then place trust in Allah Taala.

Allah is “Musabbibul Asbaab” … The Creator of Asbaab (means) … and Allah has given us  a system in which we should use the correct and permissible means. But we should not believe that that the “means” is producing” the effect. Don’t believe that if i have the “means” then I will be successful. If Allah wishes for one to enjoy the benefits of these “means”, then only He will give you the ability to do so.

Our reliance must therefore be ONLY on Allah!

DOWNLOAD EXPLANATION HERE ~ 12 MINS

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Hadith

Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas Radiahallahu Anhu said:
One day I was behind Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam [riding on the same mount] and he said, “O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah [alone]; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the entire nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already destined for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already destined against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease ~  Tirmidhi