Upbringing of Children ~ Moulana Naeem Motala Saheb DB

…In the closing verses of Surah Furqaan, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala has mentioned and awarded the title of  ‘Ibaad ur Rahmaan’ (True Slaves of Allah) to His honourable and favoured servants. There are ’12 Qualities’ displayed by these bondsmen which will indeed gain them unique honour in the Court of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala …

In a discussion, extracted from this series, Moulana emphasizes on the ‘Upbringing of Children’ 

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Rabbana Hablana min azwaajina wadhurriy-yatina, Qurrata a’ayun wa-jalna lil-muttaqeena Imaama

  O my Rabb! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous [25:74]

A child is one of the greatest asset of society (of any nation) … Therefore it is important that the upbringing (Tarbiyat) of the child must be done in an ‘excellent manner’ … If we want children to become leaders of society and the community, then we have to ensure that they are brought up in a manner which is pleasing to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala and Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. The Tarbiyat of the child does not begin ‘after’ it comes into the world. From the time it is in the womb of the mother the child is already being affected. Whatever affects the mother affects the child … A twig or a branch, (in it’s initial stage) is easy to twist and bend in any way we wish but as it becomes dry it is impossible to mould … Similarly, it is easier to influence the development of a child in its preliminary (infant) stages …

When a child is born, the first thing Shariah tells us to do is: “Give the Adhaan in the right ear and Iqaamah in the left ear”… You are already manifesting and teaching the child on the Greatness of Allah … He has come into this world through the command of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala and has to obey Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala … We teach the child Tauheed (the Oneness of Allah) … We are already directing the attention of the child towards Salaah! … Adhaan and Iqaamah are given and thereafter what takes place? Salaah … After Adhaan and Iqaamah there is not much time before Salaah takes place … Similarly is our life in this world … We have come into this world … Adhaan and Iqaamah has been given and we are just waiting for our Janaazah Salaah to take place!

Parents have extremely great rights over their children … Jannah lies under the feet of the mother .The father also has great virtues and rights. The children are expected to give them their due but when the Tarbiyat is not made correctly and parents themselves are not ‘Role Models’ , then we are faced with challenges …Parents do not have Taqwa (piety), their lives are not simple and they do many things that are displeasing to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala … How is the child then going to inculcate good and noble habits and restrain himself from evil practices?

“A child’s mind is like a slate and whatever you are going to draw there is going to be etched into the child’s mind”

There is a manner of reprimanding the child that is disobedient and many a times we ‘Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child‘ . If they do not listen after that, we beat them up or we curse them! Is the coolness of the eyes waking up in the middle of the night to see your child performing Tahajjud Salaah or is the coolness of the eyes seeing your child battling in the Rehab or having an illicit affair? Showing and teaching children with love is very important! Most of us ‘abuse’, ‘threaten’ or ‘instill fear in the child’s heart’ and after the child has grown up, then we are trying to change the child’s condition … Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam showed so much of Muhabbat (love) for children. How often have we heard that he was in Sajda or Ruku, when his grandchildren jumped on his back! Whenever he would return from Safar he would give the little children a ride on his camel and then enter Medina Munawwarah. Whenever there was a first fruit of the season, Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam would give it to the children and make them happy … He would never deceive or lie to a child … Why do we lie and make false promises to a child? If we promise a child something we are bound to fulfill that promise otherwise the child will lose confidence in the parent …

Some Rights of a Child

• The father should choose a (pious wife) good mother for the child

• The parents should choose a good name for the child

• The child should be taught Deeni Taalim (Qur’aan,Hadith etc)

Like a sponge that is immersed in water … A mind of a child takes in everything it sees and views … If the child’s mind is kept ‘pure’ with Salaah, Zikr, Tilawat, Ibadat and Du’aa then his Tarbiyat is being made correctly!